It hurts.....

It has been six long years before my first-born baby died. Two days after i gave birth to her, she had hard time breathing. In the hospital, I can still imagine how she looks like.When I saw her in the incubator with all those dextrose in her hand and a tube in her nose, it squeezed my heart to death. I wanted to scream because she does not deserve to be like that. I wanted to cry at that very moment but then I felt nothing.... I'm in deep shocked. I thought she was just sleeping, before I knew she was already dead....Tears keep falling from my face....

Until now, it still hurts that we were not able to make her survive....May be it was God's plan and we cannot question that........But it takes times for us to move on.....


It still hurts....really it is.....